Reminiscing
by quackers
Summary: Its the anniversary of Satine's death, and Christian looks back..that's it..I'm not that good at summaries...sorry!


Title: Reminiscing   
  
Author: Quackers  
  
Summary: It's been two years since Satine died. I suck at summaries so you're just gonna have to read the story...sorry  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Moulin Rouge, or any of the characters (ha! I wish...) I also don't own the song "The Land of Might-Have-Been." I think Patrick Doyle does, but who knows for sure? Anyway, don't sue cuz all you're gonna get is a ton of books...  
  
Rating: G  
  
A/N: I didn't type Toulouse's lisp...sorry...don't hate me! Just umm....use your imagination! Ya know? Er...heh  
  
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How long had it been since that day she had died? He tried to remember or rather, to forget. He knew it was of no use lying to himself, for he knew exactly how long it had been since the day his love had been stolen from him. On that day, two years ago today, a part of him had died. He wasn't sure which part, but he knew something had left him forever.  
  
Christian looked out the window of his apartment, staring blankly into the crystal clear blue sky. The bottle of absinthe beside him was half empty and papers seemed to be scattered every. A knock from the door brought him back to the real world.  
  
"Who is it?" Christian asked, somewhat gruffly.   
  
"Christian? It's Toulouse, may I come in?"  
  
Christian sighed. Surly Toulouse, of all people, would have understood that he wanted to be left alone today. Or had Toulouse forgotten what today was? It didn't matter, he just wanted to be by himself. The knock came again.  
  
"Christian? May I please come in?"  
  
"Why? What for?"  
  
"I want to see if you're alright."  
  
"I'm fine Toulouse, I just want to be left alone. Alright?"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm fine Toulouse," he said again, his voice sounding edgy.  
  
"Umm...ok. Just...just call if you need anything, ok?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Christian could hear Toulouse shuffle back up the steps. He sighed, wondering why he took his bitterness out on the others. He suddenly felt very cramped and uncomfortable being in his small room. Without a second thought, Christian headed down the stairs and out into the warm sunshine. He made his way down the cobblestone streets, making twists and turns along the way until he reached his destination. Before him stretched a small plot of land that had been transformed into a cemetery. He looked around for something, not quite sure himself what he was searching for. A few feet away, a flower girl sat on a curbside, holding flowers out to passing people, trying to find a potential customer. A smile crossed his face, and he made his way towards her.   
  
"Would monsieur like a flower?" The little girl asked hopefully.   
  
Christian nodded and picked up a red rose. He studied it before digging the coins out of his pocket. He handed the coins to her, paused, then gave her a few extra. The girl's eyes went wide.  
  
"Monsieur! I could not!" She tried to give the extra coins back but he refused. The girl smiled back up at him, what looked like tears were forming in her eyes. "Thank you monsieur. Thank you so very much!"  
  
He gave her another smile before heading back toward the cemetery. As he entered the empty graveyard, his smile slowly vanished. Christian walked past several rows of graves before finally stopping at the one he had come to see. It wasn't very showy or anything, in fact it was really rather humble. It was a simple gravestone, with a simple inscription on it. That was all they had been able to afford. Of course everyone had pitched in - the girls, the bohemians, and some other admirers- but they had just barely had enough. Christian was grateful that they were even able to buy one.   
  
His eyes misted over as they read over the simple words that were imprinted on the slab of stone.  
  
Satine  
A sparkling diamond that will forever be loved  
Come what may   
  
Christian let the tears come freely now, letting them tumble down his cheeks.   
  
"Why her..." he said silently to himself. "She was so young... and full of life." Memories of her laugh, her face, and her voice came back to him. A small, sad smile appeared on his face.  
  
He placed the rose on the patch of earth in front of the gravestone. After reading the inscription once more, he kissed the stone and slowly walked away from it. Once he was outside the cemetery, he turned to the one place where he could enjoy his memories of Satine in peace.   
  
The Moulin Rouge.  
  
As he approached the deserted nightclub, he paused outside the doors, remembering how it had once been. The lights, the music, and those beautiful creatures of the underworld. Christian opened the door and quietly slipped in. As he turned on the light switch, there was a spark as the lights came to life. He was amazed at how intact the place was. It was dusty, but oddly enough, clean. As he looked at the stage, memories came flooding back to him, and it took all his will power not to cry. He went to the old piano that sat on the stage and sat down. He stared down at the keys, remembering how he used this same piano to write the song for Satine. Their song. Slowly, he willed himself to begin to play.  
  
"Never knew... I could feel like this," he began. "Like I've never seen, the sky before. Want to vanish inside you're kiss...every day I'm loving you more and more." He lifted his voice. "Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing...come back to me and forgive everything...seasons may change, winter to spring, but I will love you, until the end of time." His voice softened. "Come what may...come what may...I will love you, until my dying day."  
  
He stopped playing and leaned his head against the piano, letting the memories come freely now. Each was as wonderful as the last, but none compared to the evening of Spectacular, Spectacular, when, as he was leaving, she began to sing the song. Their song. He replayed this memory several times in his head. Her voice, her eyes, and her face had told him that she truly meant the words that she was singing. It truly had been spectacular.  
  
Christian began to pluck at the keys once more. The tune he was picking out wasn't cheerful, yet it wasn't mournful either. Christian picked up his head and began to sing.  
  
"Somewhere, there's another land...different from this world we know. Far more mercifully planned, than the cruel place we know. Innocence and peace are there, all is good that is desired. Faces there are always fair, love grows never old, nor tired."   
  
With another breath he began the chorus. "We shall never find that lovely land of might-have-been, I can never be your king, nor you can be my queen. Days may pass, and years may pass, and seas may lie between...We shall never find that lovely land of might-have-been."  
  
He let his fingers flow freely over the keys, letting the music come as it may. "Sometimes on the rarest nights, comes the vision calm and clear...gleaming, with unearthly lights on a path of garden fear. Winds from that far land are blown, whispering with secret breath...Hope that plays a tune and then, love that conquers pain and death."  
  
"Shall we ever find that lovely land of might-have-been, Will I ever be your king, or you at last my queen? Days may and years may pass, and seas may lie between...Shall we ever find that lovely land of might-have-been?"  
  
Christian continued playing the song, letting its melody float through the air. He finally ended the song and sighed.   
He stood up and headed towards the entrance doors. After a final look around the abandoned theater, he left.   
  
It was a short walk to his apartment, and as he let memories of Satine enter his mind, he began to slowly sink back into his old self. When he reached his room, he took his place at the window again, except this time he opened it. He sat there for a little while until he spotted a cardinal. When he saw the red bird, he smiled. Satine used to always talk about flying away from the Moulin Rouge. As he watched the bird disappear into the distance he began to sing to himself.  
  
"Come what may...I will love you, until my dying day."  
  
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A/N: I don't know if the lyrics are accurate to "The Land of Might-Have-Been" Sorry...I listened to the song as I typed 'em up but I don't know if they're right or not. The song is featured in the movie Gosford Park. It's a good movie, go check it out! Anyway, I don't have the movie so like I said, I'm not totally sure if they're correct. Another not, I don't know when Satine was born, when she died, or her last name. Sorry the gravestone didn't have more. I'm also sorry about the ending...I suck at writing endings. Anyway, plz review! ~ Quackers 


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